Vietnamese habits

Dear readers,

As I mentioned before, I have given plenty of travel advice lately. It has made me think a lot of Vietnamese habits as I have been trying to explain how this country really works. I have long gathered my thoughts and notes, trying my best to analyse this country. So here we go!

Vietnamese people hate the sun. This is even laughed at in Laos and Cambodia where people are much darker. The Vietnamese take covering themselves to a whole new level, it is truly funny. It is nearly impossible to find skin products in this country that don’t contain bleach.

There is no question too bold to ask. Not many days have gone past when I wasn’t asked about my relationship status/ lack of children or other similar invasive topics. They don’t understand the concept of physical boundaries either. You can easily see students (girls and boys: yay, gender equality) cuddling at school, holding their hands on each other’s laps which is nice since they are friends but most people like to hold my hand as well when they are talking to me. As I was shopping for my Ao Dai, I felt absolutely violated by the shopkeepers as they were huffing and puffing around me shouting ‘tay’ and poking me to places no shopkeeper has a business in. There is no shame in pointing and staring at people, especially western people.

The country is still extremely communist. ”Attention” my primary school assistant shouts when I walk into the class and the 8-year-olds greet me with a Nazi salute. All schools have their own ‘school exercises’. This is a series of weird hand waving all students partake once a day during their break time.  It is still forbidden to discuss politics and religion with anyone, and you really want to mind your words when discussing famous Vietnamese people.

Vietnam has no bins. All litter is literally thrown on the streets where a group of older ladies gather and sort it into wheelbarrows. It is truly bizarre, throwing trash out still bugs me. In the start, I would always walk around with my trash looking for bins.

There is no such thing as originality. I tell my students to come up with a free topic to discuss in the next class and they all ‘come up’ with the same one (also reeks of laziness). There are a certain amount of Vietnamese traditional dishes; they are all made the exact same way, they all cost the same, no matter what shop you got to. No clothing shop or restaurant advertises themselves as unique or even tries to have something unique (most clothing shops follow Korean fashion if they can). People eat in the same place every day. And nothing wrong with that, Vietnam has some yummy food.

Of course, when discussing food I need to bring up the meat culture in this country. Now, I have been a vegetarian for four years but even if I wasn’t before, I would have surely become one upon arrival to this country. Firstly, eating dogs and cats is a delicacy. Dog meat is eaten with crab meat sauce which stinks miles away. They say that two bad things make a good combination. I don’t think tourists should worry too much about accidentally eating dog: it is sold in specialised restaurants (thit cho) and is usually much more expensive than other meats. You will definitely be able to spot the restaurants with dog banners and cages at the sides. Dog meat is very dark and quite chewy, I wouldn’t say it resembles beef for example. No part of any animal is wasted. The meat is not parted into different files or ribs or anything, the entire animal is chopped into chewy, bony pieces which simply makes me sick.

In restaurants, all meals and drinks are ordered a few at a time for the whole table. One person ordering a meal for themselves is unheard of. You can just simply join a dinner party, dig in and then pay your share at the end. If the food runs out, you simply order another dish. I was fully taken by surprise when I ordered a vegetarian dish specifically for myself the first time (I couldn’t eat anything else at the table) and suddenly someone else’s chopsticks were in it! Beers are sold in jugs so just bring your glass around and pay 10 cents at the end per glass.

All waiters and waitresses wait right by you once you have requested a menu or your bill. The western habit of slowly thinking, reading the menu or collecting money in peace from all parties does not exist. I guess it is because all the food is the same so people are expected to know what they want. Also, I believe that it is a custom for friends to pay for dinner in turns.

There is a two / two an a half hour lunch break every day. The Vietnamese take their lunch very seriously and all the men get drunk on a daily basis during this break. After which, they nap for an hour and start their day again. Their alcohol tolerance is so low and they get drunk very easily.

Like in many other Southern Asian countries, all things, especially money, is passed from one person to another with two hands. The words ‘thank you’ and ‘please’ are rarely used, the locals often laugh how ‘tays’ overuse these words. The students still bow their head when they are passing you or apologising for something.

Security is ridiculous. This is something that does really annoy me, it is so unnecessary. You are not allowed to take any of your own bags into shops, you must check them into lockers. In case your wallet is in a tiny bag, it will be wrapped and sealed in plastic as you enter the shop. In clothing stores, the assistants follow you so closely they sometimes even bump into you. Most of the expensive goods in shops have an alarm, batteries and wine etc. Once you are through the till a security guard will check your receipt and bags before stamping the receipt and letting you go. Small shops will even staple the receipt onto the bag.

I have discovered that it is possible to transport anything on a motorbike. I have seen fridges and washing machines, families and pigs. It’s a shame that I am always driving so it’s hard to snap photos but I’ll be driving around with my go pro and hopefully, I’ll be able to evidence some of the best ones later. I have even managed to transport some things that I never expected; two rice cookers and a bunch of people. Nothing compared to the genuine locals but getting there.

It’s okay to pick and poke anything, especially in public places. Next to my friends’ front door in a stall that cleans people’s ears on the street. Disgusting. You can often face a person at a dinner table sitting with their legs on the seat, picking their toe and fingernails. Most people are constantly picking their teeth (dental care here is nasty). Poking other people is not uncommon either.

And finally, it’s all about them squats. Street restaurants have these cool urban chairs that are plastic and made for midgets. Toilets are either holes in the ground or disgusting. Sometimes it’s really hard to drink enough water because it seems to be as hard to find a toilet as it is to find a bin. Squat, squat, squat away.

Anyways! I hope I have shed some light on a few interesting Vietnamese habits and not completely turned you away from this interesting culture and country.

Love,

Mira

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